A testimony refers to a public recounting as to how one became a Christian. Every believer has a testimony. Some are exciting. Some are boring. Some are horrific. Some are depressing. Some show us God's grace. Some show us God's intervention. Some show us to beware of cautionary tales. Mines is no different.
Insecure I was about my height, weight, and my complexion. Beneath what looked like confidence in a 5ft stature was nothing more than self-hatred. I would look into the mirror and hate my big nose and acne. No father-figure, big brother, or a peer to tell me how much worth I had I felt that no one loved me. Developing a cold heart and pushing people away became a coping mechanism. It would be on the cold days where I learned more about myself and my environment.
Manipulator is how I would describe my behavior towards certain people. Whether it was lying on a person. Harassing someone. Even making a person feel offended. It was all done under the guise of me being an honor roll student. I would become a master at deflecting and blaming others for my problems. My influenced was being misused. A generation of sons would be held captive to pleasures that should have brought guilt. A generation of daughters cried themselves into sealed fates.
Fornicator would become my middle name. I discovered pornography when I was 11. My mother caught me in the act when I was shy of 12. Exposed to sex before puberty was a dangerous thrill. By the time I was 16 I had become a full-blown porn addict. The root of my porn addiction was the control I thought I had. The control to satisfy myself without the help of a female. In reality I had lost control of my senses, my emotions, and my identity.
Giving God the pen so He can be the author and finisher of my life was the best decision I ever made. As long as I have breath in my lungs, I still have more chapters in my story. Born in New Rochelle Hospital (now Montefiore New Rochelle Hospital) and raised in Edenwald Projects. Majored in Communication Studies but ended up a writer. Juggling between the classroom and the courtroom. Fighting for acceptance and respect has been my state of existence. God has been good. Looking back on my life I do not regret one thing. Everything happened so God could get the glory.
Redemption's Tower is a monument that sits in the French Quarter of Refuge. This monument is a cross made of white granite and stands 300 meters (984 feet) high. I had the pleasure of visiting this breathtaking monument. While sitting on a bench a couple of feet away from the monument there was four sections of people. On the first corner of the tower trumpets were playing notes of victory and triumph. The second corner I saw and heard violins playing chords of thanksgiving. A choir was singing songs of praise in the third corner. Cries, shouts, stomping, and clapping were heard from the fourth corner. These men and women did not need anything but their voices and bodies. Witnessing these things brought tears to my eyes and touched my soul.
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